In the pursuit of spiritual maturity, it’s crucial to recognize that emotional health and spiritual growth are intertwined. As Peter Scazzero wisely puts it, "one cannot be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature. True spiritual maturity goes beyond memorizing scripture or showcasing spiritual gifts. It’s about "how" we navigate and process our emotions." This directly impacts "how" we move through life, "how" others experience us and our ability to love others well. Raising a neuro-diverse child (what a gift!) has shown me the power of being attuned to my emotions, the emotions of others and that of my Heavenly Father.
Sadly, at times we demonize emotions, leading to the misconception that feeling anger, hurt, or loneliness indicates a lack of spirituality. This judgmental attitude forces us to hide, cover, or lie about our negative emotions, hindering genuine emotional growth. Ignoring or suppressing our emotions may temporarily offer relief, but it ultimately stunts our emotional growth. We develop defense mechanisms to justify reactions instead of learning how to identify, process, and respond effectively.
Contrary to this, emotions aren’t inherently evil; even Jesus displayed a range of emotions. We are created in God’s image, and He, too, experiences emotions. Therefore, embracing our emotions is essential for us to live in wholeness. The connection between emotional and spiritual health is emphasized in 3 John 1:2, highlighting the importance of a prospering soul. The first step for some may be in providing ourselves permission to actually feel. Begin by naming your emotion as a first step. How are you feeling today - name it...
Key Aspects of Emotionally Healthy Spirituality
Recognizing Destructive Thought Patterns: Becoming emotionally mature has required me to identify negative thought patterns and replace them with healthier ones. I am able to see how my thoughts significantly impact my emotions and behavior. More importantly, how my thoughts are dictated by the posture of my heart.
Separating Emotions from Reality: Emotionally mature individuals learn to differentiate between their feelings and objective reality. Too often we let our emotions distort our perception of truth. Having self-awareness to catch the stories I'm telling myself about my life and others allows me to identify assumptions that aren't rooted in truth.
Responding Without Defensiveness: Instead of reacting defensively, emotional maturity allows me to respond with grace and humility. Aiming to seek understanding rather than escalating conflict has taught me to love difficult people well & use conflict to enhance relational depth.
Balancing Self-Care and Service: Emotional immaturity may equate self-care with self-absorption, leading to burnout and cynicism. Emotional maturity enables us to blend “doing for God” and “being with Him,” moving beyond mere service/activity to loving and enjoying time "with" Him. I treasure the stillness & simplicity of my life. It's where He meets me.
Ultimately, the world needs to witness individuals who respect and love others without judgment. As Christians, our two fundamental tasks are to love God with everything and to love others well. It’s time to embrace emotional health as an integral part of our spiritual maturity!
Amanda Apodaca
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